The patio doors

The inspiration, minus the chandelier

We finally ordered the two sets of french doors that will lead to the back yard. God, for the time it took us to reach our decision one would think that we were redesigning the Taj Mahal. It would be but a slight exaggeration to say that pretty much every window manufacturer in the city had the dubious honor of bidding on the Tall House's rear portals. Modern doors, classic doors, wood doors, aluminum doors, doors with transoms, doors without, black doors, white doors, name it, we have a quote for it.

Now we pride ourselves on (pretty much) knowing what we want. But in this case it took us forever to figure it out. It's funny how one can spend years imagining a space, obsessing about it even, and still hesitate when it comes time to chose the final materials. It was as if we were conscious that our decision would forever change the Tall House and that we needed to make sure that it would be for the better.

That and of course, money. During one of our many visits to countless showrooms we fell hook, line and sinker for the most beautiful doors we had ever seen. Tall, dark, and exceedingly elegant they had our hearts racing and our mouths watering. French doors in all senses of the word, these beautiful panels of glass and wood seemed to have been taken straight out of a chic Parisian apartment or Provençal villa. They had the capacity to elevate any space and we dearly wanted them in ours. Our quest was over.

Then the quote came back. The doors were a good $5000 more than any of the others we had seen. For a while, we actually considered it. "We could cut else where", we reasoned. "Worse come to worse we would put the $5000 on the line of credit, it would be paid back within a year"... I actually stayed up at night thinking about those doors, worrying about the money. Because I knew all too well that spending that little bit extra now would start a financial hemorrhage that we would no longer be able to keep in check. Those doors would lead to the most expensive heating system, which would lead to the most custom of custom kitchens, which would lead to...

And neither of us has the time to work a second job.

Then something wonderful happened. We went back to the showroom and were shown very much the same doors but in a man made material as opposed to wood. And they were gorgeous. They were also within our budget. Our only sacrifice would be that the doors couldn't be the whole 104 inches high, we would have to have a transom.

So at least now, as we wait for the 12 weeks it takes for the doors to be manufactured, it will be the anticipation that will keep me up at night and not the worry.